There is a Porpoise for our Mom-miage

Besties Maxine and Millie are chomping at the bit to get to their big cruise! But first, they have a few importing things to discuss, such as: Should your highschooler have a job? Why do we assume every kid needs to go to college? Who influenced the friends the most growing up? And what could basketball, a porpoise, and the FBI have in common? You’ll have to listen to find out!

Please join us. Because a midlife crisis is more fun with friends!

[00:31] Getting ready to cruise!

[04:33] Kybella versus chin liposuction

[06:18] Younger son’s going to be a murse!

[08:13 Why kidneys are amazing

[10:59] Should high school kids have jobs?

[19:19] Not every kid wants to go to college – and that’s ok

[23:38] Maxine and Millie reveal the craziest shit that’s ever happened to them at work

[30:48] Grab bag

If you like hanging out with us, please subscribe, rate, review, and share the podcast. It would mean a whole lot to us!

Music: Feather Duster by Shane Ivers – https://www.silvermansound.com

Transcript
Speaker:

Analogue 1 + 2 (Focusrite USB Audio) & e2eSoft iVCam:

you know, I'm a delight,

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I'm a fucking delight.

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Millie: Welcome to Reinventing This

Shit Show, a podcast for moms who are

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just trying to make it through the day.

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I'm Millie.

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Maxine: And I'm Maxine.

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We're friends,

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Millie: We're moms.

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We're

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Maxine: having a midlife crisis.

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Won't you join us?

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Are we recording?

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Millie: We are recording.

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Yeah,

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Maxine: Hey.

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Hey.

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Hey,

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Millie: listener.

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Maxine: What's going on?

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Hey, uh, for our catch up, you know

what I really want to talk about?

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The fact that we are just a

few days away from our cruise.

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I know, I'm so fucking excited.

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Millie: Well, you're about to see your

son, who you haven't seen for how long?

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Maxine: four months.

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Millie: Four months.

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Maxine: Yeah, it's been a very, very long

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Millie: That's too long.

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And he's been on another continent.

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Which makes it

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Maxine: I told, did I, I don't

think I messaged you this, but

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I was emotional anyway last

week because I was sick, did I?

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That I saw, I looked at the

Life360 and there he was, on

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our continent, a continent.

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Millie: actually getting a little

teary just thinking about it.

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I'm

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Maxine: I was so happy to see that.

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Millie: see

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Maxine: Um, but yeah, so obviously

we're excited to see him.

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I'm really excited to

see him sing and perform.

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Millie: I haven't seen him

since he was in Into the Woods.

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His like, senior year of

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Maxine: Yeah.

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Mmm, Junior.

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Millie: Junior?

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Yeah.

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Well,

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Maxine: No, you saw him in Mamma Mia.

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Or did you not, no?

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Millie: not.

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Maxine: Yeah, I just, and they,

they're gonna do five shows while

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we're on the boat, and they're

five different shows, yeah,

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Millie: And we're not

dressing up in 80s prom

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Maxine: no, they do that prom,

I, but I still think we should

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dress up, like we should wear

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something

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Millie: looking at Amazon today.

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I've got to buy some whole

new clothes 20 pounds heavier

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and nothing is going to fit.

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And it is now Friday and

we're leaving on Wednesday.

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So we are fucked.

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We're screwed.

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Maxine: I, uh, I had that same

little feeling, like, ooh, what the

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fuck are we bringing on this trip?

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So, yeah, there may need

to be some shopping.

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Oh, man, I have to go shopping.

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I know you do, and I fucking love

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Millie: it.

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Do you?

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Yeah.

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Do you want to go?

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Maxine: well, pump, pump

the brakes because I love

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it, but I get mad when I go.

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Because I don't like how anything looks

and I hate going to all the stores

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Millie: the stores.

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Well, then you don't

actually like shopping.

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What is it you like about shopping?

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Maxine: Okay, so I like online shopping

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Millie: Well, yeah, but

then you're gonna try

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Maxine: then you and then you

have to return it so that part too

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Millie: Even though it's

gotten a lot easier,

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Maxine: I know but I I still love

fashion as much as I did when I was a

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teenager Like I am one of those people

that will oh, yeah, like I will There

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are, you know, certain brands and stuff

that I love that I'm watching all the

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time.

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New stuff, yeah, absolutely.

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Still

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Millie: god, we've known

each other like 15 years.

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I didn't know that

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Maxine: Yeah, I'm, I'm a

big Fashionista, as it were.

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Millie: Explains why you don't like your

daughter leaving the house looking like a

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Maxine: I don't.

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Well, that's what, oh man.

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Kids these days.

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Millie: these days, we've said it before.

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Maxine: Well, so packing.

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How's that going?

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You gotta buy some shit to pack.

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Millie: I mean, oh, and

packing, you know, I,

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Maxine: Yeah.

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It's

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Millie: I haven't, I don't know if the

listeners have figured this out yet,

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but I am, a 100 percent basket case.

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All the time.

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So my anxiety, manifests physically, but

also in my need to control everything.

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So when I pack, it is a

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Maxine: nightmare.

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Yeah.

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I

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Millie: I really, I did very well

when we went to Chicago last week.

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I grabbed my contacts and my

prescriptions and was like, alright.

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Like

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Maxine: if

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Millie: those are the, those

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Maxine: the

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things That's all you really need.

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Yeah.

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And

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Millie: And then, of course,

I packed other things, but I

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was like, I'm not going crazy.

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I'm just not, if I don't have it, I buy

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Maxine: buy it.

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Did

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Millie: It did

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Maxine: didn't.

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Okay.

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So do that again.

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Because think about it.

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We're going to be in tropical

places for seven days.

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What the fuck do you really need?

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Swimming suit, a cover up,

maybe some, some, well, but,

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Millie: we're going to be in Mexico.

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Can we get that while we're there?

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Maxine: hear it's cheaper,

but like some sundresses.

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Okay.

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Millie: Yeah, I probably have a couple

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Maxine: That's what I mean, like,

we're not, we're not, you know,

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Millie: It's the nice stuff

that I'm worried about.

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The, the dinners or the

whatever that we need

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Maxine: just, just have a couple

of decent dresses that you don't

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hate and call it good, you're done.

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Millie: That's, that's a tall order, okay.

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January, January's gonna be my new body,

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Maxine: Oh, yeah, is that it,

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Millie: Well I was, I was,

um, Googling Kybella today.

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Maxine: The fuck is

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Millie: It's, um, it's like a, it's

like liposuction, but they inject you

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and it kills all the fat under your

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Maxine: Are you kidding me

right now with this shit?

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Millie: No, not at all.

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But then I read that it doesn't

work as well as actual liposuction,

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so I'll probably be having

chin liposuction at some point.

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Maxine: Really a great idea to

you know, inject and squeeze

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Millie: and

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No, it's, you know.

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It's happening.

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It's happening.

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So you're fine.

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I know.

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You're au naturel,

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Maxine: I do not approve

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Millie: Don't care.

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Maxine: my stamp of not approval

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Millie: Well, I will be sure

to take that into consideration

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when I make the appointment.

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No, I won't.

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No, I won't.

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No.

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Okay.

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Anyway, so yeah.

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So, okay.

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So Cruz coming, right?

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Packing.

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Maxine: we're pulling our kids

out of school for six days right

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before the end of the semester.

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I think that's a great

parenting choice on our

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Millie: We did it last

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Maxine: I know you did, but my

senior is flipping balls because

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he has so much work he has to do.

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I

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feel

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so

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Millie: nice?

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Are the teachers being nice about

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Maxine: Kind of, but he's just going

to have, you know, a lot that he has

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to do because right when they get

back, he has finals and he actually

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has finals, like he's got some tough

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Millie: is the room situation?

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Is he staying with sister?

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Maxine: sister and him are in a

room and then we're in a room and

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then, you know, the oldest has his

living quarters there anyway, so.

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Millie: Well, so I think middle

boy can take some time and I

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mean there's internet on the

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Maxine: Yeah, but I, I said don't do

that because you're not going to and you

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want to have fun and you want to hang

out with your brother when you can and

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You

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know, he's really excited

about seeing him so,

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and

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Millie: seen his brother in

forever and you know what?

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Whatever.

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He's already signed on to a college.

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Who fucking cares?

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Maxine: and that's, you know, he's

just trying to get a little bit more

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scholarship because he's such an angel.

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I know,

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but, he is going to be

a murse, that's so cute.

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But um,

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Millie: is going to be covered in women.

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Like,

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Maxine: he doesn't see it

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Millie: sexier than a Merce.

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Maxine: I know, he doesn't get

it now because he's still, you

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Millie: Well, it's good that

that's not why he's doing it.

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He's doing it because he's

legitimately a good human

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Maxine: Well, and it's just,

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it's absolutely the right fit.

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I know, that's why I tell him

all the time, it's just that what

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he's doing is so noble, and it's

so hard, my God, I mean, you know

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firsthand how tough it is to be a

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Millie: nurse.

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Yeah, it's funny because the people that I

know that are listening to this don't even

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know that I almost went to nursing school.

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I didn't tell anybody.

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I didn't tell anybody I did

all the, all the prerequisites

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Maxine: I remember you doing it.

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Millie: Yeah, well, you knew, but

most, most people didn't know because

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I just didn't want the pressure.

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yeah.

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And then I was an alternate and I

really thought I was going to get in

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and then I didn't and I could have done

it the next year and I just didn't.

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And I think again, my back, you know,

you've got to be able to lift 50 pounds

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or whatever and be on your feet all day

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Maxine: And that's a big

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Millie: I can't do it.

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So, but you know what?

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More power to him.

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He's

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Maxine: No, I think it's cool.

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I mean, I think it's

the right fit for him.

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Something we always thought something

in that field or that area, something

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medical, not a doctor, but like a

therapist or something like that.

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Millie: Oh, I could totally see him

as like a physical therapist too.

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That would be another

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Maxine: that's his, like, he really

thought he was going to do physical

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therapy for a long time and then

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Millie: his sports background and

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Maxine: exactly.

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Sports medicine kind of stuff.

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So

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Millie: I mean, probably he will go into

nursing because it's, that's his calling.

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That's what it'll do.

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But it's good to know there's other

things that are, if he needs any help

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with anatomy and physiology, let me know.

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Maxine: He loves that shit.

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Millie: I loved it too.

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I'm telling you, like, it is the dumbest

thing, but like, we got to the kidneys

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and I was like, The kidneys are the

most fascinating thing I've ever seen!

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They are, actually.

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Like, wait till he gets to kidneys and

ask him what he thinks about kidneys,

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because they are fucking amazing.

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You will never treat your kidneys the same

way again after you read about how amazing

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they are.

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Maxine: amazing they are.

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Millie: They are

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Maxine: I don't think, I think

that I could go my lifetime never

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understanding the ins and outs of

the kidney and I would be okay.

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Millie: I thought I would too.

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Kidneys are not like a sexy organ.

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Maxine: Well because

there's so many other sexy

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Millie: Well, like the heart, right?

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Like people are like,

you know, heart surgeons.

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Heart surgeons are like,

you know, or brain surgeons.

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You know, like you think about

those things as being like,

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Oh, so cool.

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Maxine: No.

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Millie: But when you learn about

how they maintain the balance in

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your body, I know I'm such a fucking

nerd, but it's just, it's magical.

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It really is.

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Did you know the heart can exist

outside a human body for, like,

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legitimately forever as long as it's

in the right solution of chemicals?

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Maxine: Like it can keep beating?

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Millie: I don't remember

if it beats or not.

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I think it

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does

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beat.

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Yeah, because it's, it doesn't beat

because of messages from your brain.

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It messes, it beats because of

chemicals that are influencing it.

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If there's any nurses listening

to this, please come at me because

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I'm sure I just fucked that all up.

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Maxine: all up.

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I

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also think it's the wine

that you're drinking,

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so I'm going to check that label.

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Millie: It's not pot wine.

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Is that a thing?

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Pot wine?

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Maxine: Probably.

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Pot beer?

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I

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Millie: I was going to say we could invent

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Maxine: I know there's pot beer.

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Millie: Oh.

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Huh.

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Anyway,

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okay.

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Maxine: So circle

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back.

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We're really excited about the cruise.

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We're packing.

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Yay.

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Next week's going to be a baller

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Millie: week.

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We are just going to relax, which

the last few weeks of our lives

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have not exactly been relaxing.

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Maxine: been relaxing.

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Years.

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It's

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Millie: is going to be

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Maxine: to

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Millie: Relaxation.

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I refuse to stress about anything.

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Although my husband did convince me to

go diving with him, which is gonna cause

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Maxine: It's pretty shallow.

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I mean, and I've done this before.

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Millie: It's pretty shallow.

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I mean, and I've done this

before and I almost got, I mean,

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I didn't almost get certified.

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My oldest, we

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went,

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did I tell you about that?

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We, we did it until we were supposed

to go real low in the pool and like

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start taking our mask off and stuff.

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And I looked at her and she was

in pure terror, which if you know

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her, which you do, that's not

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her.

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So when I saw that look in her eyes, I was

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Maxine: Alright, we're

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Millie: Nope.

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Not happening.

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But, you know, so I have,

I do have some experience.

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It's not, you know, I'm

not that scared about it.

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I'll be fine.

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It'll be fun.

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Maxine: It'll be

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pretty.

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It'll definitely be pretty.

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Um, okay, so let's get to our

main, our main squeeze today.

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What are we

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Millie: talking

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about?

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J

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Maxine: about, yeah, we are.

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And this is, um, again, a hot top in my

household because I have teenagers who,

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want to work and like to work and they

want money and stuff and I, I don't know,

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I don't know how you feel about this.

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You're kind of getting to

this point now with your

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oldest, but traditionally I don't

like for my kids to work and I don't

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know if that's bad, that's good,

whatever people are going to say.

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Like I give a fuck anyway.

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But, um.

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I'm not a fan of my kids working

because I, I have always said to

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them, you're a student, that's

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Millie: your

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job.

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Yep.

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Maxine: And your

activities, that's your job.

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You know, whatever your

craft is, whatever.

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And I feel like jobs just add unnecessary

stress, sort of, because there's not,

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I know

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people can learn skills

from working at a job.

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I know that kids can learn all

kinds of things about life.

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But, I just feel like it's not

worthwhile enough to do in lieu

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of the activities and the school

stuff that they need to be doing.

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Yeah,

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Millie: Yeah, I feel the

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Maxine: same

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way.

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Millie: keep telling the

older one, school's your job.

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Um, horses, that's her activity,

but you know, and I would let her

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do it anyway, but if you think about

like college admissions, they've

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got to have some sort of activity.

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So that is

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Maxine: And that's what

I always say to them.

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That's what I say to them, like,

getting a scholarship and getting into

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college or, not necessarily getting a

scholarship, but if you can, but most

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importantly getting into college or

whatever it is that you're going to do.

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That's your

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Millie: Which, getting

into college is harder and

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Maxine: It is, and I, there's not really

a place for job on a college application.

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They, they don't really care about that,

at least in the experience that I've had

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with my two oldest getting into college.

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That's not something anybody gives a shit

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Millie: I don't even think that

was a thing when I applied.

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Now, when I applied, things were

easier, but to me, I feel like jobs

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in high school Um, sort of came out

of that time when people would quit

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high school because they needed to

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work.

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And then, well, it was like, if you're

not working, you're lazy, you know, and

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then it was just sort of a holdover.

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I feel like it was a bit of a holdover

when I was working in high school.

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Part of it was, you know, save

some money for college, but let's.

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Just get real.

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How much money

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Maxine: money?

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What?

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250?

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Millie: Right, like you might be able

to buy a few books with your summer

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Maxine: No.

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Or, you know, beer money,

I guess, for the first

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Millie: semester,

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It's I just

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Maxine: Well, and I know some kids

work to like pay for gas money

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and stuff for their cars, which

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Millie: for their

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Maxine: I, I see, but if getting

a job means you can't play on

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the lacrosse team at school, I

don't think it's more beneficial.

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I really

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Millie: team at school.

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I don't think

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Maxine: they want a

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Millie: beneficial.

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I really

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don't.

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Don't think not having a job

is hurting my kids' work ethic?

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No.

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the older one has signed up now to

volunteer at the, um, I'm not gonna

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say the name of it, but, um, at the,

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the hip hippotherapy, um, place locally.

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so she's super excited.

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She hasn't finished all the process yet.

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She's getting there, so she's

gonna go out and muck stalls and

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do whatever and all of that stuff.

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And that's, that's work.

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Maxine: That's

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hard

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work.

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Millie: She's not getting

437

:

Maxine: is, is work.

438

:

Millie: But I think it's teaching

her the same values that, you know,

439

:

bagging groceries taught me, you know.

440

:

Although, honestly, I don't

think my job taught me values.

441

:

I think I was good at my job

because I already had those values.

442

:

Maxine: when did you do

443

:

Millie: I think I was

four, fifteen last year.

444

:

No, no.

445

:

Uh, I don't know how old I was.

446

:

Sixteen,

447

:

fifteen, sixteen?

448

:

high

449

:

school?

450

:

Yeah, it was the hot job in town.

451

:

I lived in not a giant town, it wasn't

tiny, but um, the IGA grocery store there,

452

:

yeah, um, their whole thing was that they,

you bagged the groceries, you walked them

453

:

out, you know, it was a customer service

454

:

thing.

455

:

I was super introverted.

456

:

I hated every minute of the talking part.

457

:

I'm really good at bagging groceries.

458

:

Very good at that.

459

:

Um, and I had, you know, I, I

had a boyfriend that I met there.

460

:

Um, we dated briefly,

but it was a fun time.

461

:

You know, it was fun.

462

:

We had a good time and I

463

:

Maxine: I I think, okay, so both

of the kids at home have had summer

464

:

jobs, and I'm, I'm okay with summer

jobs, um, especially the, the boy

465

:

worked at the, at the hospital

466

:

this summer, so it was

like an internship, but he

467

:

Millie: got

468

:

paid

469

:

for

470

:

it.

471

:

But that's a useful,

472

:

Maxine: Fuck yeah, I love that.

473

:

If you could somehow get a job

like that, that's, that's useful.

474

:

I mean, and it showed him,

you know, kind of the career

475

:

path that he

476

:

Millie: him an idea of,

do I really like this?

477

:

Maxine: And then he had money to, you

know, spend through this year so far,

478

:

just kind of, you know, if he wants to

go out with his friends or whatever,

479

:

he has fun money to do those things.

480

:

And for the girl, the same thing.

481

:

She worked over the summer.

482

:

at a, you know, a retail, a beach shop and

um, has money to buy all these ridiculous

483

:

shirts from places that she's never been.

484

:

Millie: So

485

:

it

486

:

Maxine: like, it worked

487

:

out, you know, but I, I don't like

for them to work during the year.

488

:

She will still sometimes It's work on

the weekends, like one day a week, but

489

:

I, I just feel like school and activities

should be the priority and volunteering,

490

:

Millie: It's really

helpful if you're trying

491

:

Maxine: it's, it's really helpful if

you're trying to get into college.

492

:

I wish that it wasn't so difficult to

get into college, but you got to play the

493

:

game,

494

:

you know, whatever, however it is right

or wrong, whatever, that's how it is.

495

:

And volunteering is super

496

:

Millie: Super important.

497

:

Yeah.

498

:

Yeah.

499

:

And you know, I, big one

just popped her head in.

500

:

I was going to ask her.

501

:

What do I say?

502

:

Maxine: No,

503

:

Millie: Whatever.

504

:

Yeah.

505

:

And I always, you know,

school is your job.

506

:

You know, school

507

:

Maxine: comes

508

:

first,

509

:

Has she said, like, I want a job?

510

:

Yeah.

511

:

Okay.

512

:

We

513

:

Millie: We always joke about

getting them a job at the ice cream

514

:

Maxine: cream place down the

515

:

street.

516

:

Yeah.

517

:

Oh, yeah, yeah,

518

:

Millie: it's a really cute like little

beach kind of ice cream shop where would

519

:

make like some sort of Nickelodeon kids

520

:

show.

521

:

there.

522

:

You know what I

523

:

Maxine: I

524

:

Millie: right?

525

:

Yeah, like that's the

exact vibe of that place.

526

:

But they're too busy.

527

:

They're too busy.

528

:

And you know what?

529

:

They have their whole

530

:

Maxine: I mentioned this.

531

:

I know, I just, I know that there are

really important skills learned in

532

:

a job environment, but I think those

same skills can be learned volunteering

533

:

Millie: and

534

:

in

535

:

whatever

536

:

activity.

537

:

Especially the volunteering.

538

:

Yeah.

539

:

Maxine: Yeah.

540

:

And that's good too because, I

don't know, I think there's so many

541

:

positives to volunteering in general.

542

:

Just, you know.

543

:

But you brought up something

really interesting.

544

:

You were introverted working this job.

545

:

Why did you pick that job?

546

:

Is it

547

:

Millie: just

548

:

because

549

:

it was

550

:

the

551

:

cool job?

552

:

It was the cool job.

553

:

Yeah.

554

:

Yeah.

555

:

Yeah, and it was, you

know, it was good for me.

556

:

I had to figure out how to have a

conversation with strangers over and

557

:

over and over and over and I did it.

558

:

Maxine: And why did you get a job?

559

:

Was it just

560

:

to, cause you

561

:

Millie: my dad, my dad just

said, you will get a job.

562

:

I don't know.

563

:

I don't really remember.

564

:

I think it was

565

:

Maxine: a summer job, Okay.

566

:

Millie: um, started out with and then.

567

:

I don't know if I worked

during the year or not.

568

:

I can't remember.

569

:

Yes, I definitely did because I

remember, like, the Thanksgiving

570

:

rush of, like, people bringing two

and three carts full of food to the

571

:

checkout lane and me having to bag them.

572

:

Um, yeah, so, yeah.

573

:

Maxine: Did your sister work?

574

:

Millie: Yes, I'm trying to think back.

575

:

I think she helped coach

gymnastics because that was her

576

:

thing.

577

:

She was a gymnast and I

believe she worked at the

578

:

Maxine: the gymnastic studio.

579

:

Okay.

580

:

So, because I, I didn't really have a

job, but I did babysitting like early on.

581

:

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

582

:

I feel like everybody did that

when they were a teenager.

583

:

But my brother didn't work.

584

:

Either that I can remember.

585

:

We did a lot of volunteering.

586

:

Millie: Which I honestly

587

:

think might

588

:

be better, Unless

589

:

you need those kids to

590

:

Maxine: the

591

:

funds.

592

:

And that's it, too.

593

:

Like you said, we're not, I'm

not, like, if that's what works

594

:

for your family, absolutely.

595

:

You know, you do you.

596

:

I'm not being judgy about if people, you

know, encourage their kids to work jobs.

597

:

I just,

598

:

Millie: And some

599

:

Maxine: kids aren't going to

600

:

college.

601

:

Yeah, well, and that's and and maybe

they're learning some skills that are

602

:

going to get them into whatever field that

603

:

Millie: Everyone has a

different path, and especially

604

:

lately, I think we're realizing

how pushing every kid to

605

:

college is a bad choice.

606

:

Because not every kid

607

:

belongs in

608

:

Maxine: No, and not every kid knows

what the fuck they're going to do.

609

:

And that's, that's been the

hardest thing for me to like.

610

:

be okay

611

:

with.

612

:

I like, and actually I'm going

to talk about this in a little

613

:

bit, but my undergrad is in

614

:

Millie: criminology.

615

:

Maxine: but I went to

school as a music major.

616

:

So, but I changed my major halfway

through and who the fuck knows

617

:

what their path other than my

618

:

oldest son,

619

:

Millie: knew.

620

:

I was your oldest son.

621

:

The same.

622

:

Eleven years old.

623

:

I'm going to be an actor.

624

:

Yeah.

625

:

but you're

626

:

not.

627

:

No, but I was.

628

:

I mean, I followed that until

629

:

Maxine: You became a mom.

630

:

Millie: Well, it was earlier

than that, but It's a

631

:

long

632

:

story,

633

:

um, no, but that is, and I still, I

still look back and, you know, think,

634

:

God, what if I'd followed that path

now, looking back, I probably wasn't

635

:

quite talented enough to actually

follow that path, which is fine.

636

:

I'm fine with that.

637

:

but I knew, so it is really hard for

me to look at my kids and be like,

638

:

what do you want to be like my 14 year

old, do you want to work for Pixar?

639

:

Like you're going to be an artist, right?

640

:

She's like,

641

:

no, no, no.

642

:

Like,

643

:

Maxine: know.

644

:

Millie: so fucking

645

:

Maxine: Yeah.

646

:

Yeah.

647

:

Seriously, she

648

:

is so

649

:

good.

650

:

Millie: but no, I think she

may wind up training horses.

651

:

I don't know what she's gonna do, but.

652

:

Maxine: But that's the thing,

like, and my, my middle kid

653

:

could, you know, we know he's set

654

:

Millie: for

655

:

Maxine: school.

656

:

He could change his mind in a year or two,

657

:

you

658

:

know,

659

:

like, this idea that our 18 year olds

know exactly what they're going to do

660

:

with their lives, you know, probably not

the wisest thing for us to think because

661

:

Millie: it's

662

:

a

663

:

bit

664

:

unrealistic.

665

:

But

666

:

Maxine: Yeah.

667

:

Millie: you're 30?

668

:

Like

669

:

Maxine: I

670

:

know.

671

:

know.

672

:

Millie: an interesting thought

because yeah, if you don't know

673

:

what you're going to do, why are we

spending all this money on college?

674

:

Maxine: and you know, in some, some

countries do the whole gap year thing,

675

:

where you take that year off first

before you go to college, but, He

676

:

Millie: oh, before

677

:

he went yeah,

678

:

Maxine: well, I just,

679

:

Millie: I mean,

680

:

Maxine: And this is a whole other thing,

our education system, Jesus Christ,

681

:

but yeah, I think we have to be, we

have to normalize, like you said,

682

:

that every path is, is a good one.

683

:

You know, whatever it is, whatever,

it's completely individualized to each

684

:

Millie: kid Yeah, we've been

pushing every kid to college for too

685

:

Maxine: well, I mean, in high school,

like They, um, at the school that my two

686

:

youngest ones go to, there's the Success

Center, which is like the, you know, next

687

:

steps, what you go there for resources

for your next steps when you graduate.

688

:

It's college.

689

:

they say that they have other things

and if your path is different, yeah,

690

:

that they have, but I sure don't

see a whole lot of that coming home

691

:

and in their information and stuff.

692

:

It's really

693

:

Millie: college

694

:

focused.

695

:

Interesting.

696

:

So,

697

:

Maxine: I would say, at

least in our community,

698

:

I don't,

699

:

and it's, you know, it varies school by

school, I'm sure, but, I don't see a lot

700

:

of emphasis on things that are different

701

:

Millie: than college.

702

:

Maxine: But, but, you know, whatever.

703

:

In our house, yeah, like I was

saying, I, I don't, I'm not a huge fan

704

:

of jobs,

705

:

cause, cause they need to

706

:

Millie: good

707

:

grades.

708

:

I might not have the fucking time.

709

:

No,

710

:

they

711

:

just

712

:

don't.

713

:

I.

714

:

Maxine: I, volunteering was such a

huge part of my life as a teenager and

715

:

into my twenties, and I, there's so

many positive things that I got from

716

:

that, that I really, really wanted

my kids to have exposure to too.

717

:

So that has always superseded any

sort of employment or whatever.

718

:

And then with my oldest, he was, he

had a job, but he was singing for

719

:

a

720

:

church.

721

:

I mean, like, you know, and in a community

722

:

Millie: choir,

723

:

Maxine: was getting paid.

724

:

To do that, yeah.

725

:

So, it was a job, sort of,

726

:

Millie: not really.

727

:

Yeah.

728

:

I bottom line is, it's different for

every family, and for yours and mine,

729

:

jobs are just not going to be a priority.

730

:

No.

731

:

Maxine: They're not.

732

:

But, um,

733

:

so

734

:

let's

735

:

Since we're

736

:

talking about jobs, how about

we talk about jobs that we've

737

:

had and what we've done,

738

:

Millie: we've

739

:

Maxine: and fun stuff.

740

:

I

741

:

Millie: don't,

742

:

Because I need some more wine.

743

:

You go first.

744

:

Maxine: I told

745

:

Millie: you

746

:

that

747

:

I wanted

748

:

Maxine: to talk about like, okay,

let's think about the weirdest shit

749

:

we've ever done or the craziest shit

that we've ever done and I don't know

750

:

that I have like, because I was trying

to think, okay, In your workplace,

751

:

what crazy has happened to you or

was your workplace crazy in general?

752

:

And so I guess for me that would be

what it is like, you know, my undergrad

753

:

criminology and the first few years of

my career were spent in correctional

754

:

facilities and so No, and I I don't

want to get all like sad sacky about

755

:

it, but it it was a little traumatizing

for me and so I kind of Moved away

756

:

from that and not wanting to think

about it and shit like that, but So

757

:

I worked in a residential facility,

but then I, for two years, I worked in

758

:

Millie: in a holding facility.

759

:

Like, what is a

760

:

Holding facility Is

761

:

Maxine: facility is, yeah,

before somebody goes to get

762

:

sentenced and to,

763

:

right.

764

:

right.

765

:

So, and I worked in a juvenile

766

:

Millie: juvenile facility.

767

:

Okay.

768

:

That is, yeah.

769

:

Maxine: sad, a lot of it was sad,

but also scary, so the, the thing

770

:

that sticks out to me, the craziest

771

:

Millie: moment

772

:

that's exactly was

773

:

Maxine: we,

774

:

Millie: going to definitely top mine.

775

:

Maxine: we had a, and I don't

776

:

Millie: talk

777

:

about

778

:

this

779

:

very

780

:

much.

781

:

Maxine: The fact that I'm talking

about it right now, but, um, I, we

782

:

had a, um, A gentleman there who

was later convicted of murdering his

783

:

social

784

:

worker

785

:

and I used, he had one hour of outdoor

time where he wasn't in his cell and

786

:

I, when it was my shift, I used to play

787

:

basketball with

788

:

him,

789

:

um, handcuffed and shackled,

playing basketball with this

790

:

Millie: this murderer.

791

:

and But that is so kind, that

792

:

is so you,

793

:

to treat this

794

:

Maxine: like a human

795

:

being.

796

:

It was so terrifying.

797

:

and it wasn't great because he definitely,

was sort of fixated on me a little bit.

798

:

But, uh, it wasn't like a Hannibal

Lecter or Jodie Foster sort of thing,

799

:

but it was still a little creepy.

800

:

But like you said, I You know,

he was a 17 year old kid.

801

:

Like

802

:

Millie: kid.

803

:

Oh, that's right.

804

:

We're talking about a child.

805

:

I forgot about that

806

:

Maxine: at the end of the day, even

though he was a murderer, he was a 17

807

:

year old kid who, you know, just a series

of horrible things, blah, blah, blah.

808

:

But that would definitely be

the craziest moment of my life.

809

:

career probably was the time that I spent

with him one on one, and we're in this

810

:

gym and he's handcuffed and shackled and

we're, shooting hoops and I'm petrified

811

:

but I know that everybody's watching

just in case there's anything, you know,

812

:

because cameras and other, officers

like right outside the doors and stuff.

813

:

And sometimes other officers would

come in and play with us too,

814

:

but, um, yeah, I remember him.

815

:

Yeah.

816

:

Being, and like I said, I didn't

817

:

last very long

818

:

in this.

819

:

It's a very dark world to

be working in all the time

820

:

Millie: be.

821

:

Maxine: and just the,

822

:

you know, I taught like anger management

and life skills and just the, the

823

:

recidivism, like seeing these kids

come back over and over and over

824

:

again, you know, it was, it was rough.

825

:

So, that was the craziest, I've

had lots of crazy moments as

826

:

Millie: a Oh,

827

:

Maxine: just crazy, silly, hysterically

funny, crazy parents, crazy kids,

828

:

hilarious things said to me, body

fluids, anything you can think of, being

829

:

Millie: We were

830

:

Maxine: exposed to,

831

:

look at me in my eyeballs.

832

:

Every bodily fluid that you can

833

:

Millie: I am looking at

you and your eyeballs.

834

:

Wow.

835

:

Holy shit

836

:

Maxine: everywhere.

837

:

Okay, why don't you share?

838

:

Millie: Okay, well I'm gonna lighten

it up a little I have I have two crazy

839

:

stories and one is super short cuz I I

don't really know most of the details,

840

:

the first one, I was working for a

company, I don't even remember what they

841

:

did, anyway, uh, there was a woman, uh,

a co worker who worked in the executive

842

:

side of the building, so I didn't really

talked to her a ton, but I knew her,

843

:

uh, we would see each other in like

the copy room or something or whatever.

844

:

Came to work one day, she's gone.

845

:

I was like, where'd she go?

846

:

They go, Oh, well, apparently she's

on the FBI's most wanted list.

847

:

So they, she disappeared.

848

:

We don't know where she is, but the FBI

849

:

Maxine: was

850

:

here

851

:

Millie: looking through all

852

:

her

853

:

shit.

854

:

Are

855

:

you kidding me?

856

:

No, not at all.

857

:

Yeah.

858

:

FBI

859

:

Maxine: For

860

:

Millie: has been spot for like, um,

861

:

Maxine: theft and stuff.

862

:

Oh, well, she

863

:

Millie: Yeah.

864

:

So the name I knew her by was

certainly not her actual name.

865

:

In fact, I'm pretty sure it was someone

else's name that she had stolen.

866

:

So that was

867

:

one.

868

:

Maxine: I love

869

:

That Ha,

870

:

Millie: Cause

871

:

Maxine: ha, ha,

872

:

Millie: correctional, um, and the

second one is happened at the IGA.

873

:

Uh, we were forbidden for having,

taking tips, we weren't allowed to take

874

:

tips, you know.

875

:

So I told this guy, wanted to tip

me, I said, no, thank you very, you

876

:

know, it's my pleasure, whatever.

877

:

And he said, Oh, well, let me

at least just give you this.

878

:

And he hands me an audio

879

:

Maxine: tape, a

880

:

cassette

881

:

tape.

882

:

Oh Jesus.

883

:

And

884

:

Millie: I'm, I'm a recording

885

:

Maxine: artist,

886

:

Millie: whatever, I

don't know what it was.

887

:

I get it.

888

:

Oh my God, I wish I knew where this was.

889

:

It was a cassette tape of Christian songs

890

:

Maxine: that

891

:

he

892

:

had

893

:

written.

894

:

Oh shit.

895

:

Millie: And he was a

896

:

Maxine: a terrible

897

:

Millie: I'm

898

:

Maxine: Oh my god.

899

:

Let me

900

:

sing it for you.

901

:

Oh

902

:

Millie: I don't remember the whole thing

but it started out There is a porpoise

903

:

for our marriage We'll have a whale of

a time With our school of little fishes

904

:

Maxine: And And I'm telling you, you

will never forget those lyrics, will you?

905

:

You're going to be singing

906

:

Millie: been 20

907

:

Maxine: years from now.

908

:

I mean, it's been 20 something

909

:

Millie: some years.

910

:

30

911

:

Maxine: no, yeah, 30.

912

:

Yeah.

913

:

Millie: my

914

:

god, I don't know what happened

to that tape, but I wish I had it.

915

:

Maxine: Oh yeah.

916

:

That's way better than the

917

:

dollar he was gonna

918

:

give you.

919

:

Millie: Yeah.

920

:

Maxine: just gave

921

:

you sure.

922

:

A song that has last lasted a

923

:

Millie: Yeah, yeah.

924

:

So that's my crazy story.

925

:

Maxine: Oh, I love that guy.

926

:

Was he like an old guy?

927

:

No, no,

928

:

Millie: think so.

929

:

Yeah, He was

930

:

like, I mean, at the time I remember

thinking he was definitely older than

931

:

me, but no, he was not an old guy.

932

:

So maybe in his 30s,

933

:

Maxine: Oh my God.

934

:

Millie: 40s,

935

:

Maxine: And he just pressed this tape

936

:

into your hot little hand?

937

:

Yeah.

938

:

Millie: Yeah.

939

:

Yeah.

940

:

Yeah.

941

:

And I did as instructed, like if

they insist, you can take, you

942

:

know, you cannot, you have to say

no, but if they insist, you, you

943

:

Maxine: you can't

944

:

be rude, you gotta

945

:

Millie: you know?

946

:

Maxine: ha ha ha

947

:

ha.

948

:

ha.

949

:

God, don't you wish you, no, no.

950

:

Lifetime of musical

951

:

Millie: yeah, the dollar or

the two dollars he might have

952

:

handed me is nothing compared

953

:

Maxine: given me is nothing compared.

954

:

Millie: There is a

porpoise for our Marriage.

955

:

Maxine: And what?

956

:

We'll have a whale of a

957

:

tame?

958

:

Fuck yeah, that is,

959

:

Millie: is gold yeah.

960

:

I'm surprised he hasn't like

961

:

Maxine: Yeah, popped up in the Grammys.

962

:

Oh, I love

963

:

him.

964

:

Now, are you ready to

965

:

Millie: Oh, should we grab the bag?

966

:

Are we ready?

967

:

Oh man, we are getting tight on this.

968

:

We're doing good.

969

:

Okay, here, you grab the bag.

970

:

I grabbed, I

971

:

Maxine: Well, I just wiped my nose.

972

:

That was with this hand though.

973

:

So I'll use the other one.

974

:

Millie: alright.

975

:

Maxine: Ooh, you got these

fancy fucking cards in

976

:

Millie: know.

977

:

The kids picked them out.

978

:

I

979

:

haven't read any of them,

980

:

Maxine: Alright, who had the

most influence on you growing up?

981

:

So, as a child, who

982

:

influenced

983

:

you

984

:

the

985

:

most?

986

:

Millie: Madonna.

987

:

Maxine: Obviously, obviously,

I was going to say George

988

:

Michael, but same, same thing.

989

:

Millie: Um,

990

:

Maxine: on you.

991

:

I'm sure

992

:

Millie: sure it was my parents.

993

:

I mean, I don't know who else it would

994

:

Maxine: else it would have been, honestly.

995

:

I mean, I would say friend groups, but

friend groups changed, you know, like I

996

:

didn't have, I didn't have any friends

that I was friends with from kindergarten

997

:

to high

998

:

Millie: high school, senior year.

999

:

Okay, I will say, so let's put

parents aside because that's

::

pretty obvious.

::

Maxine: There were two

::

teachers.

::

Oh, that's a good

::

Millie: I had two teachers that

definitely, definitely influenced me.

::

One was my choir teacher, Mr.

::

Wenz.

::

Um, our choir program was

like pretty top notch.

::

We won state all the time.

::

And even though it can kind of be

considered a nerdy, thing to do in

::

a school that was really well known

for sports, a lot of the football

::

players and all that stuff,

they were in the choir.

::

Like it

::

was a

::

Maxine: is my exact

high school experience.

::

Exactly.

::

Millie: we're friends.

::

Maxine: exactly.

::

Millie: And a lot of people really, really

disliked him because he was a hard ass.

::

Um, he expected a lot and if you

didn't deliver, you were out.

::

he was People, people would

say he was a jerk or whatever.

::

I, I loved him because he held

us to a super high standard.

::

We

::

Maxine: knew

::

what he

::

expected.

::

I was going to say you, you He probably

had really clear expectations, really

::

Millie: expectations.

::

And if you met those expectations,

he was a friendly, wonderful guy.

::

Like just had, he just gave me a really,

really good high school choir experience.

::

which is where I felt home.

::

I felt home at choir,

in choir and theater.

::

The second teacher was my

theater teacher, Brian Putnam,

::

Maxine: used

::

Millie: Putty.

::

Maxine: That's cute.

::

Millie: Yep.

::

He's, um, moved on from education now.

::

he's probably retired actually.

::

I don't know.

::

I need to check on his Facebook, but,

um, he is just an incredible human being.

::

He gave all of us weirdos a place

to land, a place where we felt safe.

::

He treated us like adults.

::

he expected a lot from us, but

he was super supportive and.

::

He just gave us like a little

home, which I don't know.

::

I mean, I don't know I guess

I can't say he influenced my

::

life and like, oh, well, I

::

Maxine: influenced my life

in, like, oh, I modeled

::

Millie: Top of mind.

::

Yeah.

::

He was just a really good, and still is,

Obby, I'm sure, a really good human being

::

who just took a lot of misfits and gave us

::

Maxine: human being who just took

a lot of misfits and gave his best.

::

to make

::

this like serious impact on these

kids lives where they remember you for

::

all the right things or they remember

you for all the wrong shit, you know,

::

like you did damage to them or you

created this safe space for them.

::

You made them believe that they

::

Millie: could

::

achieve

::

anything

::

Maxine: like teachers know, but teachers

really have that power over kids and they

::

need to use it for good and not for bad.

::

I'm with you, like, I had teachers like

that, that, I had an English teacher

::

that,

::

as stated in a previous

podcast, I had a little bit of

::

behavior

::

trouble in

::

middle

::

school and she

::

loved me and loved all those things

about me and I, I mean I, English

::

was my jam anyway but I, Just super

succeeded because of her, because she

::

thought I was so

::

great.

::

Um, really all of my English

teachers were like that.

::

And then my choir teacher, my high

school choir teacher, same thing.

::

She was a hard ass.

::

Rika Harith.

::

She's still out there, uh, in the Midwest.

::

Incredible

::

teacher.

::

A lot of

::

people didn't like

::

her.

::

But, man, she helped us

to hide standards and

::

Millie: and we achieved

::

so

::

much because of her.

::

Exactly.

::

Yeah.

::

I mean, why do you think the high

school football team, half of

::

Maxine: of them weren't?

::

We had that too.

::

That is so interesting because I have

talked about my high school experience

::

being like that where, choir and

theater wasn't really seen as like the

::

dorky stuff and that there was a lot of

crossover between sports and, and arts

::

Millie: Sadly, our marching band was

not given the same amount of respect,

::

but they were good.

::

Yeah, they won, they won all

sorts of titles and stuff.

::

But yeah, they weren't, they

weren't treated quite as well, but

::

And it's so funny with teachers,

like it doesn't take a lot.

::

it doesn't your, your, your

room doesn't have to be perfect.

::

You don't have to spend a ton of money.

::

You don't

::

have to,

::

you just.

::

You need to connect with your students

::

Maxine: Absolutely.

::

Mm hmm.

::

Millie: the standards that you

hold for people, they will live

::

up to and that's what they did.

::

And I mean, I remember some of my,

my worst memories are times that I

::

Maxine: disappointed

::

one

::

Millie: one of

::

them and

::

they called me out.

::

And I just was like, I mean,

I have this one stupid memory.

::

I was assistant directing

a show, a straight show.

::

And he left, it was a comedy, left

the room and he said, I want you

::

to, you know, work on this scene.

::

And he came back and he

was like, what did you do?

::

I was like, you didn't,

there's nothing here.

::

Maxine: but you didn't

::

do anything.

::

And you felt like

::

Millie: And I felt, and I'm

telling you, it's been 30 years.

::

And I remember that moment of

being like, Oh my, like I fucked

::

up And

::

it wasn't because I meant to

::

fuck up.

::

I just

::

Maxine: I just did.

::

You just did.

::

Millie: And yeah.

::

Yeah.

::

Maxine: So,

::

I

::

mean,

::

you

::

know,

::

it's.

::

But he probably

::

Millie: didn't hold

::

me right.

::

Oh

::

Maxine: day.

::

But I know.

::

Yeah.

::

No, that's a good teacher.

::

I love to hear shit

::

Millie: great teacher.

::

And then he got moved into

::

Maxine: agree.

::

Millie: and then he got burned out and

::

Maxine: Yeah, that'll happen.

::

I'm, I'm real familiar with

administrative burnout.

::

Millie: I'm sure you are.

::

Maxine: So, all right, cool.

::

Thank you to our influential teachers.

::

You guys are all the best.

::

Millie: they were listening, but I don't

::

think that a podcast for 40

something moms is probably

::

their jam.

::

Maxine: not.

::

Millie: we'll send this

episode to them later.

::

Maxine: Yeah.

::

All right, guys.

::

Well, thanks for hanging

out with us again.

::

Millie: And

::

Maxine: And remember.

::

Millie: Bye.

::

Bye.

::

Maxine: with friends.

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